on dreams and saying goodbye to an old love

Spell:
Bless this emerald that I wear, Venus, spirit of love, hear my cry. Let my tears dry by and by. Let my feelings for whom I love, disappear on the wings of a white dove. The song is over the dance is done, the door is closed. Let true love come back into my life. End the pain inside of me, end the strife. So more it be.

Dreams:
Did this spell and dreamt all night of whom I love. Not the effect I wanted. But maybe what the spell is doing is trying to help me resolve deep within my dreams, the pain inside.

Beliefs:
Dreams are keys to our deepest feelings. Our dreams are always “honest” with us. Witches record their dreams(as I have done here) and try to look at them. I also give myself “assignments” based upon these dreams. For example, if I dream that I am reading a certain book; I will read a chapter the next day from that book. If I dream that I am taking a trip somewhere, I will go on the internet and “look at that place” of if it is feasible, take a trip to that place. If I dream of my child, I will then take time the next day to really spend time with my child. By recording my dreams I begin to see patterns in my dreams. By doing the follow thru many times I will “see” something that I didn’t see. Or I will begin to resolve feelings that I otherwise wouldn’t.

Daily:
1) Encounter with person I love. Or feel “something for”. Difficult, painful encounter…no seeming easy resolution. A profound feeling of anger and frustration at the situation.
2) A feeling that it is time to let love back into my life. That I am getting ready or close to ready.
3) I will do another spell to say good-bye.

Llamas spell...career spell

Dreams: I am getting ready to go out. I am “trying” to find the “right” make-up…I can’t seem to find what I need. I look thru my purse for make-up, I look at my make-up counter. I ask my kiddo where X make-up is. I am getting “all dressed up”, and I feel nervous, scared. I think to myself as I look in the mirror, that I am “tired of dating”(but I don’t currently date). I am tired of “all of it”. I think of the finale to the show “Sex in the City”, where Carrie says, “I am looking to find love. Love where we can’t live without each other. Love where both of us “need” each other. “ I am getting ready to go to “yet another event”. I look in the mirror and think to myself…I like what I see overall. I am at my “right” weight size and even though I have a few wrinkles, they give me character. I am at peace with what I look like. But then I think it doesn’t really “matter” what I look like-love isn’t like that.

Llamas spell:
You sow what you reap, be careful for the seeds that you sow. Burn away what you have reaped…that you no longer wish for. (Take a corn husk, right down what you no longer wish for in your life…and burn it away).

Plant a seed of some sort. On a “plant” that is symbolic of what you wish for.

Spell:
Been working a spell on success. I am “undertaking” three undertakings. It maybe too many undertakings. But…I am doing a spell for success in all three.

Daily Events:
1) Jim is generally “gone” for days now. But he was here last night.
2) Went to a Llamas celebration…it was a ‘good thing”…
3) Set up interview for producing job internship. Have mixed emotions about it.

answer to happines question

Happiness is in my opinion a skill-almost a discipline. An internal discipline of the mind and the mind-set. There are two books that have helped me. One is “Create Your Own Happiness” by Nancy Ashley-a Seth book. Essentially, this book describes the mental constructs (beliefs) for mental “Habits of Happiness”. They key to the Seth books and indeed to my “own” book from many years ago are that you create your own reality. That is a very hard “thing” to accept. Yet it is “very empowering as well”. When I am unhappy or sad (like in this last blog), I still say to myself, “Some part of my mind created this reality” for some reason. Why? This situation is here to teach me something…

Relatedly, I find the most crucial thing I can do is “appreciate” my problems. For example, “my break-up” that I have written about here. I “thank” the universe for my break-up. And “suddenly” I will see how it is changing me. I see that I am spending my time differently, meeting new friends, taking on different challenges then I would if I had not “broken up”. I have had in the past and will “restart” again on Llamas, an “abundance diary”. Everyday, I must write down “five” things that I am grateful for. And they have to be “new” things. This is not easy to do when you are unhappy or sad. For example, yesterday, I was thankful for: 1) a new rosebud on one of my rosebushes 2) a really good glass of sun tea that I made 3) a new business opportunity 4) a new piece of computer equipment that I finally got to work within my system 5) The “almost” finding of my signature perfume-this has taken me years to do and I am “finally” close. That to me, means that I am “finally” finding myself. I am finally “coming into myself” in ways that I never thought I would be before, and this is related to “this recent break-up” in my life. This idea is from a book entitled, “Simple Abundance”, and I am going to be utilizing the “Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude”. Simple Abundance is a wonderful book to read when feeling sad and unhappy, it is a group of daily meditations that essentially “teach a mind set” of how to appreciate life.

Another one is Feeling Good-an introduction to cognitive therapy. Essentially, this book written by an innovative pyschologist “talks” about…change your mind set when you are unhappy. Looking at your thought processes. For example, one reason for depression is “all or nothing thinking”. When you find yourself saying, “It is always like this…when you are unhappy about a situation”. Truthfully, when you THINK about it…nothing is ALWAYS like that. Things are in a constant state of change or flux. But that feeling that you “have been here before” and will ‘be here again” is what I call a “redo”. A redo is when you have a group of mindsets that consistently “recreate” in your life a certain situation. Like someone who can never “seemingly” find love. They seem to pick the “same’ angry partner over and over and over again.

When you are unhappy, there is a message of some sort to “fix” something. Find out what you need to fix. What you need to change.

Spells work as well…one of my favorite is by Raymond Buckland:
You need a gold candle, an orange candle, two red candles, and a candle to represent yourself.

Light the candle that represents yourself and say: I am here. My spirit is steadfast and happiness for me is earned and richly deserved.

Light the gold and orange candle and say: The spirit of happiness is attracted to me-as a moth is attracted to this very flame. The attraction is so great that it cannot be resisted. It draws and pulls.

Light the red candles and say: Here is the luck and happiness that I truly deserve. I have worked hard for it. It is coming towards me…it is advancing towards me…(then move the candles towards you).

See in your mind’s eye obtaining everything that you truly wish for in regards to being happy then say:
A star dawns beauteous in my gloomy night,
A star that sheds sweet comfort with its light,
Promising me new life and joy-
Oh, do not lie!

Like as the ocean to the moon swells free,
So mounts my soul, daring and glad to thee-
To thee, and to thy light of joy,-
Oh, do not lie!

See the happiness building and what circumstances need to come to you for you to be happy…repeat the above

Then see finally, you having what you truly wish for…again..and say it again. Do this for a week of successive nights.

to see the forest for the tress

Dreams: I am in a hotel room in NY. I am trying to get my work done. There is so much turmoil around me, so much to do. And yet there is so much turmoil inside of me, one is reflective of the other. There is a baby crying in the background. I remember that when I was upset, my baby was also upset. It is another symbol of being upset. The turmoil within and the turmoil without. I must settle things deeply within myself. I must see the underlying purpose…and try to find the underlying reason for the “bad stuff that is happening to me”. I must also “bless” the situation. That is the true way to resolve something. To say “thank you”, this creates a peace about it. But I find that I cannot. I am to angry to bless the situation, but I know deep inside that I need too.

Spell:
Goddess guide me thru my dreams, heal the sadness in my heart, let me see the forest for the trees, the underlying path again within my dreams.


Philosophy:
Every situation in your life, there is an underlying purpose too, if you can “define” and “see” the purpose, then you can generally “get thru” the other side of the situation. Most of the time we see the tree/s-the bad situation in front of us, instead of the forest, the purpose. It is possible if you look for it, to find the needed guidance to “see” the purpose.

Spell for insight, even if it is an insight that you don't want

6/28/06
Dreams: I am at a house I have never been at, after traveling for a very long time. I find in the house in a drawer a big box of brownies. I am in the home of a movie person and musician. There are movie posters on the wall of the movies he has done and then there is music being played. I don’t feel comfortable at all. The place is filled with people, lots of people. There is an outdoor area, and the property is by the ocean. The water washes up on the sand. I sit there and watch the water wash up on the sand and then it occurs to me that there is something that I need to do-I really really really need to work. So, I go inside and try to work, but something always seems to be interefereing and other people helping me, are truly not helping meI have on my rose cuff bracelet-the new one that I just got yesterday, while thrifting. A large cuff bracelet in sterling silver in the shape of a rose. I look at it and realize that there is no real love in my life anymore. I start to cry, and then I realize I have so much work to do, so…very much. There is so much in my life that I need to do-and so many dreams that I have yet to fulfill. I go to the place where all the mistakes were made and start to fix all the mistakes. It is time for me to focus on this. To fix the mistake It is also time for me to succeed in my ‘other” careers. I realize that I must succeed on my own, on my own terms so that I can be more deeply at peace within myself. As well, then it will be time for love. I will “become” something new inside. It is much harder to “do it” on your own, but this is my time to do that. Love will come when it is time to come. I am so sad about this. I cry and cry. Maybe there will be another way, but maybe this is the “right way” for me. I take the bracelet off…and wake up…

Spell:
I made a glass of cold vanilla chai tea with milk. Vanilla for “love”.
From Sirona Knight
Blessed by this divine cup
Dear Goddess, fill up this cup,
With the wisdom I desire
Clear my insight.
Blessed Lady of wisdom
I (state your name) seek the answer to this question
(State question)
Dear Goddess
I pray to you
Share our wisdom with me tonight!
Knowledge and wisdom abound,
Reasons and answers resound,
Within and without,
Circle front and circle center
Goddess dream with me
The answers lie in my dreams
I will remember when I wake up.

Drink the tea

Daily events:
1) Another job opportunity-totally unexpected arrived. It relates to the dream, I am to focus on my careers.
2) In regards to dating or potential dating, I am finding that I making “friends” (and just friends) with a number of individuals that if I weren’t single I wouldn’t be. I seem to be acting consistently in an advisor sort of position-rather like a therapist. I don’t know if I like it, it just seems to be happening.
3) My roses seem to be blooming. At least one or two buds every week. It is a wonderful way to greet the day, to sit on your own porch and see new roses blooming.
4) The new kitten requires a tremendous amount of attention. He is very playful and rarely leaves me, unless “forced” too. I have raised many kittens in my time and rarely keep them; this one has such strength of personality. Each one seems born with certain characteristics. This one is very strong willed, very stubborn, very loving and extremely smart. He is also almost totally fearless and very aggressive. He is a very interesting contrast to my other cat. Luna all black, while he is all white. She is very passive, he is very aggressive. I think of the balance of black and white when I look at them. The pillars of magic, one black and one white. Both with long hair…and how he came into my life right at mid-summer. Luna is so “traditionally” female and “Snow” (I don’t know if we will keep the name) is so traditionally male.
5) I continue to decorate my home. I am painting etc. I recently finished my desk-it took many months to find it, and I finished it yesterday. Today was my first day with my own desk. And then the dream of work…I finally am close to be organized in such a way as to be most effective in working.
6) I seem to be finding a great many things that I need at thrift stores-like “the perfect desk” that needs to be refinished. Yesterday, the perfect leather briefcase for literally 2.00. My life seems to be moving in such a way for me to “get” all the necessary things that I need for work-like the perfect sized beautifully made leather briefcase, just the right size to take my computer someplace with enough room for a legal pad, notes etc. I am also finding relevant clothes and relevant accessories for my new job opportunities. I found when thifting another day…1.00 skirts in my size. All long, and all suitable for work. All extremely well cut and many of them very expensive pieces. Eight skirts, eight dollars: Four in black, one in navy blue, one in gray and two in dramatic elegant red prints. The universe seems to be “enforcing” my career goals. None of them would be “everyday” kind of clothing-they are the kind of things (with the right accessories) that I would wear to work in my chosen fields. For me thrift store hunting is rather like going on a treasure hunt and what I find that “works” is always symbolic for me. Finding my beautiful desk after looking for so long…and that last week was amazing. And then of course the early morning refinishing of it…making it mine, exactly as I want it.

Philosophy:
Accepting that the universe is a magick place means seeing magick in places that you otherwise wouldn’t. Seeing magick in coincidences…thinking about them. For example, finding the desk, the work clothes, the work accessories (some of them). Also many times you cast and spell and leraning to accept and even see that like the song you don’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes..You will find (you will see) that you get what you need. That line from that very old Motown song in many ways sums up magickal philosophy and even for me the outgrowth of this spell. I would not even have consciously chosen this course of reality-on the other hand, your thought create your own reality (soo…there is that bugaboo), yet I see that my career/s seem to be propelling forward in rapid directions. I don’t have love in my life right now. I have a “new” direction to pursue. One thing, I always “ask myself’ is which self makes what decision…my “unconscious self”(for example, the Freudian Id, Ego, Superego? Or in Jungian terms…which self, the part of me that is a part of the collective unconscious where purpose lies?)? Which self makes the decisions around my life?

sadness spell that worked

Spell:
Goddess help me
Goddess guide me,
Guide me thru sadness
Show me the path of gladness
Help me to manifest only the best
Guide me in my rest

A squirt of Lilly of the Valley perfume…

Dreams: I am in a school. The school is in a castle and it is filled with dangers-like Hogwarts. Dangers I don’t understand and am not sure about. I go to a class and am told that part of the process is “problems”. Part of the problems and difficulties is just part of learning. Magick instead of making life easier, many times makes life harder. It is about “going for greatness”. The process of magick is to “make you more”, the more you become, the greater the challenges.

1) My life has really changed since Tim and I broke up, I am much different and I feel much different. I want different things, I became a different person.
2) I don’t know why all the “danger” in my dreams. But there seems to be a danger of sorts…I don’t know what it is. I find that I am more cautious because of it.
3) One thing there are tremendous moments of peace. Sometimes when I am alone, I feel deeply peaceful. When I did the spell, I woke up and felt profoundly peaceful. I think it is important to “see” an underlying purpose to things. To see the forest for the trees.
4) The new kitten is keeping me up at night. He came into my life on midsummer. White with blue eyes.

solstice spell, "will" and discouragement

I am in a very difficult school. A very hard school. I have to keep working and working, I feel like I am getting nowhere. A guide came to me, he said to me, just to stay the course, have patience. To keep working that is part of the key to success. To just keep at it. To work, and work with some lightness and happiness…just to have discipline, to work very hard and then “let it be”. You have to keep at it, you have to keep trying. It is the difference between those that win and those that lose. He said, just keep at it, it is what makes someone successful, the discipline. He also says that if you get discouraged, you must then “keep at it”, and not quit, and do the daily stuff that needs to be done. Keep the discipline and keep the faith. That is the secret to success. Talent and keeping at it. That you sink deeper and deeper into a depression when you quit, and when you don’t try.

Spell:
From Silver Ravenwolf...
Gemini to Cancer
The moon becomes the Queen
mighty Herme purseus her
in the forest dark and green.
Summer's bright enchantment
workings of my will
"I know" begins the power
that turns the magick mill.

Oceans glitter in the heat
as passions raise the tide
The Oak and Holly navigate
for the favors of the bride.
Summer's bright enchantment
workings of my will
"Iknow" begins the power that turns the magick mill.

Faeries dance upon the air
making circles round
lurning humans to the eath
Beneath the sacred mound
Summer's bright enchantment
workings of my will
"I know" begins the power
That turns the magick mill

Roman Fanus plays the flute
the notes a binding spell
oflove and healing conjunted
from the waters of the well
Summer's bright enchnatment
workings of the my will
"I know begins" the power
that turns the magick mill

Shakespeare's night of potions
bright world of in between
where gnomes hide buried treasure
and devas dance unseen
summer's bright enchantment
The workings of my will
"I know" begins the power
that turns the magick mill.

Crossroads vigilante open
the dead no longer rest
I am a witch and I know how to conjure...
Summer's bright enchantment
workings of my will..
"I know" begins the power
that turns the magick mill.

I am a witch and the power of magick lies with me
Love, success, and passion lies within my reach
So mote it be.

Daily:
1) Worked this week on a new job…very part time…2) Got a few new “charms”, and some new clothes for very little…
3) Very discouraged, got sent a book, in the book, covered the concept of a witches’s will, discipline…keeping at it. I suppose that is what I need to do at this point.

Spell for positive affirmation

6/18/06
Dreams: I am in a nightclub. I am working on “opening night”. I am with a bunch of people I don’t know. It is very exciting. Then Tim is “there”. He is spending a great deal of time working on various things. We are not even interacting. But he is still “there”. There is so much going on. It is so exciting. I am “the center” of attention. Then I am dancing. I feel happy. I am moving forward with my life. Everything is “coming” together. I turn and look at Tim and say, I guess all I needed was patience. Patience and now everything is coming together.

Spell: Positive affirmation spell.
Based on Sirona Knight…
Take a white candle, and “Heavenly” perfume by Victoria’s Secret (Heavenly is good for confidence and banishing negative energy).
Light the candle and imagine yourself becoming one with the flame. I am the fire of life and the fire of life is within me. Say this 13 times.
Then say, Everyday the divine light of the Goddess flows thru me and helps me to become more positive and healthy. Her healing light flows thru every cell in my body.
(Say this 13 times).
Then sit and “wait” for a positive affirmation “line”. One line to say to yourself when you are upset, scared etc.

Daily:
1) Got a new job today. I think it is related to the dream and spell.
2) My spell for “rich stuff” is manifesting. I went garage saling (treasure hunting). Found a great desk for Rhiannon, found a really beautiful coffee: gray marble, beveled glass, and painted silver steel in a scroll design. I also got some beautiful designer clothes for 50 cents a piece, in my size, by a one of my favorite NY designers. A wonderful large sterling silver bangle bracelet.
3) Colored my hair, and did my nails-found the perfect nail polish on SALE even. Really cleaned.
4) Worked for about 10 hours yesterday organizing myself.